Lost In Space
by Ultrawoman
Summary: A collection of unrelated one-shots, originally written for prompt memes, challenges, etc. over at Livejournal, re-posted here for those that have not seen them. Various lengths and ratings. 14x River/Jayne, 1x River-centric, 1x Mal/Inara.
1. G is for Grenade (RiverJayne)

**Title****: G is for Grenade**

**Prompt by****: willow_reece**

**Rating****: PG/PG-13**

**Setting****: post-BDM**

**Word Count****: 249**

So small and fragile to look at. Wrap his hands around and almost lose sight of the beauty.

It's still amazing to Jayne, the damage caused when the explosion occurs, but he lives for the moment, anticipates it with a nervous, excited energy he knows is somehow wrong.

Others shrink in fear from any kind of danger, hide from that which might do them harm - he's always been different, which makes him perfect for his role.

Power and grace, the arc of flight and the strike of impact, every second savoured as he watches, a smile nobody understands curving his lips.

Perhaps he is the only one that truly understands what she is, though the Captain and the Doctor know she is more weapon than girl by now.

A trigger doesn't make a gun, a graceful strike is not only a swords nature.

Jayne knows, as she knows, she is more powerful and deadly than that, more complex and yet more simple in so many ways.

She is the explosion; eyes flashing with fire, hair sweeping by faster than even the debris can.

She is the grenade in these battles they fight, and in the darkness of his bunk after.

He is the only one with hands prepared to hold her, with a body strong enough to withstand the blast when she lets go of herself, and explodes in a shower of sparks.

River; his beautiful, unpredictable, sexy, deadly, moon-brained grenade-girl, that he wouldn't change for the world.


	2. S is for Slap (RiverJayne)

**Title****: S is for Slap**

**Prompt by****: goddessofbirth**

**Rating****: PG**

**Setting****: non-specific**

**Word Count****: 351**

Nobody knew what she was thinking, nobody ever did, and once in a while that worked to River's advantage.

They were waiting around for Mal and Wash to finish up on the bridge so they could play their game of ball, just hanging around with nothing particular going on, when suddenly Jayne let out a yell and jumped a clear foot in the air.

"Jayne! You scared a year off my life!" exclaimed Kaylee, a hand at her chest, whilst Simon and Zoe nodded their agreement that they had also been startled.

The merc didn't seem to hear a word as he turned and glared hard at River who only giggled at his reaction - that only made him more mad.

"What the hell you think you're doin', ya feng-le little..."

"What's the problem here?" asked Mal as he descended the stairs and caught the tail end of the situation.

"Your soldier is strangely sensitive, Captain" said River in a little sing-song voice, a grin still fixed on her face.

"Sensitive ain't a word I'd much use for Jayne" replied Mal as he and Wash came to join the others.

"She done slapped me on the be-hind, Mal!" the larger man told his Captian, much to the amusement of the others, the girls most especially, "That ain't right!" he declared, his own hand going to his rear as if he was protecting himself from further 'attack'.

"He does it" River argued, "Women in taverns when we're off the ship. She has seen him"

"That may be so, little one" said Mal, trying to hide his smile, "but aboard ship we keep our hands to ourselves unless invited otherwise, dong ma?"

"She will comply, Captain" she almost curtsied, acutely aware of Jayne's eyes still burning holes in her back as the game began.

Backing up a few steps, she leaned in close to the mercenary when nobody was watching, speaking softly near his ear.

"She awaits this invitation with breathless anticipation"

Next thing Jayne knew, the ball hit him right in the head, and laughter echoed through the cargo bay once more.


	3. N is for Neanderthal (RiverJayne)

**Title****: N is for Neanderthal**

**Prompt by****: revdorothyl**

**Rating****: G**

**Setting****: post-BDM**

**Word Count****: 389**

"River, I am not going to let you marry this... this... Neanderthal!" Simon exploded, when faced with the sight of his mei mei holding hands with Jayne Cobb and declaring her wish to be his wife.

"Hey, ain't no call for that, son" the Captain jumped in, more mindful of his merc kicking the Doctor through Serenity's engine than anything else, and he would if'n he had a mind to.

"Ain't botherin' me none, Mal" said Jayne with a worrying sort of a smirk, "Doc oughta do his research 'afore he comes name-calling is all" he said smartly.

River was practically beaming, even wider now than a moment before when she announced her supposed engagement.

"I believe Jayne may have a point, Simon" Inara reluctantly agreed, hardly able to keep from smiling herself, "Whilst Neanderthal has long since been used as a word synonymous with an ape or similar, it is quite an unfounded usage"

"Can we please just get back to the point that my sister has gone... _even more_ crazy!" the Doctor yelled some more, though nobody was payin' much mind, 'ceptin' for little Kaylee who was trying to shush him.

"I always figured on cavemen and the like not bein' so bright" said Zoe, looking to the Companion for further explanation, as Mal did the same, though it was River and Jayne who cut in with the answer.

"They was all kinds o' smart" the merc explained, his arms around River's shoulders now, "Spoke like proper folk, more or less, made fancy tools..."

"Lived in complex social groups, cared for families, and ate a balanced diet" smiled River, "Very advanced for their time on Earth-That-Was" she concluded, smiling overly much at her now apoplectic brother.

"I can't believe this!" he practically exploded, "My _little sister_ wants to marry _Jayne_, and you're all debating _my_ use of the word Neanderthal?" he checked, finding the whole thing ridiculous.

"Well, when you put it like that" the Captain said, getting up from his seat and rounding the table to face the happy couple, "Congratulations, lil 'Tross, Jayne" he said, kissing the pilot's cheek and shaking the mercenary's hand.

Inara and Zoe followed suit, and Kaylee eventually shrugged her shoulders and joined in, whilst Simon looked on, wide-eyed and even wider mouthed.

"No, _this_ is what going mad feels like!"


	4. O is for Obstreperous (RiverJayne)

**Title****: O is for Obstreperous**

**Prompt by****: revdorothyl**

**Rating****: PG**

**Setting****: Future**

**Word Count****: 269**

She was the envy of most that met her, for more than a dozen reasons too.

With hair dark as ebony and eyes that shone like diamonds, many a girl would wish to be as beautiful.

Muscles, strength, and skills to fight made her the envy of many a man too.

At seventeen, she was quite the catch, and yet had no time for boys and games.

Her family, though mostly unrelated by blood, was all she needed, so she said.

Days like today made her parents wonder if she really believed she needed anyone at all.

"You ain't never understood me! I hate it here! I hate this gorram boat!" she raved, making for the ramp that led to temporary freedom planet-side.

"Captain Daddy would hate to hear her speak of Serenity this way" sighed River from the other side of the cargo bay, "Sweetness and calm she has from her blood-uncle, looks from her mother, but obstreperous traits are entirely her father's doing"

"Ain't so" complained Jayne as he watched their daughter storm out in her childish snit, "Ob-streppin'-whatever she gets from her Ma!" he said definitely.

River looked up at him with indignation and surprise both, until finally her husband gave in and said it.

"What's it mean anyhow?" he asked, as she knew he was going to, and not just because she was a Reader neither.

"Means they have a teenage daughter" explained River as she leant into her man, happy as ever to feel his arm creep around her shoulders, "One whom, despite her blood and non-blood bonds, is a little too normal sometimes"


	5. Z is for Zit (RiverJayne)

**Title****: Z is for Zit**

**Prompt by****: basched**

**Rating****: PG**

**Setting****: post-BDM**

**Word Count****: 512**

"Will you just come outta there, Moony?" Jayne urged her, as he sat outside the hatch in the cargo bag with his back against the wall.

"She's not here" River called back, a childish lie that the merc didn't know whether to laugh at or yell about, truth be known.

Little woman could take on purple bellies, Reavers, the nothingness of space, hell, she'd even gone willingly to face her brother and Mal's wrath when it come time to tell 'em she and Jayne was wanting to be making a pair. Seemed right now she was scared of the gorram light of day and for the life of him Jayne couldn't figure on why.

"C'mon, girly. What's the matter with you anyhow?" he asked her in earnest, "I do somethin' wrong?" he checked, sure he hadn't, but then womenfolk could get all riled over the darndest thing a fella said or did.

"No" she answered honestly, "but she is gone for today, cannot be seen" she insisted, "He will not love her today"

"Hell, River, that's just dumb!" he said then, angry at the accusation and pissed with the whole gorram thing by now, "I had enough o' this and you're coming outta there now, even if I gotta drag you out" he said, with a new determination, as he tore the cover off her hiding place and got to hauling her ass outta there.

She sure kicked and complained plenty but that never bothered Jayne none. Clear of her hidey hold, River stood before her man with a look of shock and indignation ... and her hand covering her nose.

"He cannot love her today" she repeated, all sadness and worry.

Jayne just loved to prove the genius wrong once in a good long while, and did so again by gathering her up in his strong arms and kissing her long and hard on the mouth.

By the time they parted, her arms had crept up around his neck and he finally saw what she'd been hiding from him this whole time - the biggest zit ever seen by man, right on the tip of her nose.

"He sees, and he is repulsed" she assumed, and stated as such just as soon as her breath returned to her.

"You're dumb for a genius sometimes, ya know that?" Jayne rolled his eyes as he grabbed her by the hand and started to drag her way,

"They shall copulate?" she checked, a little bemused by the turn of events, but happy enough.

"No" said Jayne before stopping a second to reconsider, "Well, yeah, but after I show you somethin' else first. See, zits like this gotta be dealt with right and I bet my right arm, we got squeamish folks on this here boat..."

River's mind read Jayne's as easily as ever and she made a face. The joke he would pull was unpleasant but that was okay. It might indeed be amusing. What was important was that her Jayne-man still loved her, zit and all. That made River happier than anything else.


	6. Q is for Quest (RiverJayne)

**Title****: Q is for Quest**

**Prompt by****: heathskack**

**Rating****: PG**

**Setting****: non-specific**

**Word Count****: 379**

It should be as the fairytales she heard so many times when she was a child.

The princess locked up in the tower by someone or something evil, pining for freedom and love and happily ever after.

A prince should come on a quest to save her, on a fiery steed with a sword in his hand, to beat back any thorns or dragons or ogre that dared block his path.

River had been raised a princess or close enough. A charmed life with riches and gifts and a hundred wonderful things she would never need.

Now she was locked in her own special hell of a tower, not of an evil step mother's creation but made by doctors in her own mind.

The darkness of her own thoughts and those not her own hemmed her in. The cracks only let in the madness, no peaceful view of freedom.

River believed she must save herself from the monsters, that no prince (save for her dear guh-guh who was hardly suitable) would risk life and limb to brave the castle walls.

No man could be strong enough or stupid enough to fight back the dangers in his path, just for a glimpse of the princess held within the locked and bolted tower of her own dark mind.

If anyone were to take on such a quest, perhaps she ought to have known it would be him. Jayne Cobb was always a man to rise to a challenge, and though an unlikely prince, he was royalty of pain and broken spirit, as she was.

He peeked in through the window, a tiny gap through the dark dominating walls, and dared to urge on the light he saw shining through.

This did not mean the quest was over, for in truth it had only just begun.

Before long, the monster would rise again, bloodshed and tears to all who spared a glance, but the prince would persevere, and one day the princess would be free enough for him to love... or so they told themselves.

River only hoped Jayne did not give up on is noble quest too soon.

Unbeknownst to her brave knight, if he turned away from her now, the princess might begin to fade away, and then disappear forever.


	7. T is for Torture (RiverJayne)

**Title****: T is for Torture**

**Prompt by****: basched**

**Rating****: PG-13/R**

**Setting****: post-BDM**

**Word Count****: 668**

With their 'special' route, it would be at least a week before the crew of Serenity reached their destination, and water was already in short supply. That meant any showers were to be taken only when desperate and always in pairs to conserve water.

Today was one of those necessary days, and the crew came two by two to get cleaned up. Zoe and Mal had no problems with it, they'd seen it all before in the war, and Kaylee was all for dragging Simon it for some fun. That left Jayne and River, though the latter had not been seen for hours...

Cap'n signed off on Jayne using the ablutions alone, and vowed to have words with his Lil Tross just the second she were found. 'Course, the little woman weren't so much hiding nor lost as she was biding her time.

Jayne was in the shower room, having run just enough water to damp his skin and the bar of soap. He was getting himself all lathered up, with his back to the door and his attention on the task at hand. He didn't know anyone else was there until the water started up running again.

It was more like a triple- than a double-take before Jayne could believe what he was seeing. As he turned around he realised that here was River Tan, not looking anything like childish, stood before him in all her naked glory. She was away from the now silent and still shower unit, soaping up her skin with a thick lather, a whole new image of the young woman getting slowly burned into Jayne's retinas and his frying brain.

She had curves in places a girl like her had no business having them, and there weren't no way in hell Jayne could keep from staring. She had to know he was there, though he soon realised the last thing he wanted was for her to pay much mind. He guessed the free show was an accident on her part, probably hadn't an idea what she was doing to him, but if he thought that, then he was wrong.

River was a genius and understood almost everything. Basic biology was no hardship for her, and that thought made her giggle, knowing _hard_ship was just the right words for what Jayne was going through now.

"If they must share water, they must be closer" she said, done with the soap and ready to rinse apparently.

Jayne knew she had a point, but then so did he and his walking was hampered because of it. River felt him get closer and reached to put the water on again, turning to face him in the same movement. She was only torturing herself as much as him now, but it was a necessary evil and the most delightful agony to see him like this.

All those times watching from the catwalk as he lifted weights, stealing looks at flexing muscles and beading sweat that ran south to places her fingers longed to creep but never could. River needed pay-back, revenge, and it was oh so sweet to have him this close, to want her so much he literally ached to touch her, and yet could not, would not, for fear of death by never-ending space.

Jayne thought he knew what torture was, how to give it and take it, but River had rewritten all the rules inside ten minutes whether she knew it or not. Water shortage be damned, he had business he had to take care of here after she was gone...

River's murmured laugh as she shut off the water only made matters worse.

"She is done" she stated, making to leave, stopping at the last moment to flip her wet hair over her shoulder and peer back at him, "They must do this again, with more time to enjoy" she told him, in such a way as to make Jayne damn near explode.

Yes, River understood torture; Jayne had no doubts on that.


	8. A is for Alibi (RiverJayne)

**Title****: A is for Alibi**

**Prompt by****: revdororthyl**

**Rating****: PG-13**

**Setting****: post-BDM**

**Word Count****: 571**

"You got a good explanation for not bein' where you was supposed to be?" asked Mal angrily, getting right up in Jayne's face.

He was ninety-nine percent sure why the merc hadn't been there in town to have his and Zoe's back on their job last night, pretty sure it had something to do with that bottle of hooch he'd been made a gift of on their last stop, not least because he looked so out of it this morning, he had to have got plenty drunk the night before.

"Well, Mal... y'see, I was..." he waved his arm in a vague gesture, before bringing his fingers to the bridge of his nose, feeling another wave of sickness comin'.

With his head down, Jayne didn't have a notion he and the Cap'n weren't no longer alone in the cargo bay, and it seemed he didn't notice neither til she was right there beside them.

"Captain Daddy shouldn't scold the Jayne-Man" said River so suddenly she made both men jump, "She was his distraction, not his fault"

"You stopped him from comin' out last night?" asked Mal, one eyebrow raised as he looked suspiciously between the odd pair, "What'd you do, Lil 'Tross? Tie him down?"

"At one point, yes" she said, hiding her face behind her hair as she blushed profusely, "She apologises if the Captain's plans were spoilt, though the goods were won and no injuries sustained" she noted.

"That... that ain't even the point" Mal told her, closing his eyes a second as if trying to regain his bearings, "River, mei mei, I'm still not understanding..."

"Sexual intercourse" she said plainly, making Jayne look up so suddenly he almost knocked himself over with the force, though said not a word as River kept on looking at Mal and talking things he hadn't a notion of, "She is woman and pleasing to the eyes of men. She finds the Jayne-man's form appealing, and so following the consuming of fermented vegetable drinks, they copulated... many times, in many different positions"

Mal's eyes went comically wide a moment, as he almost literally covered his ears with his hands. Twas bad enough over-hearing Kaylee talk in giggles to 'Nara about things she and the Doc got up to 'neath the engine of his vessel, last thing he needed was to know his Albatross was getting sexed up by Jayne of all folks!

"I can't... I can't know this!" he said, holding up his hands in some kind of surrender.

"You asked" River pointed out, even as her Captain made for the stairs and went on up.

"I ain't ever askin' again!" he said definitely just as he disappeared from sight.

Jayne recovered from his shock the very next second, looking across at River who stared after the Captain with a smile still playing at her lips.

"Thanks" he muttered, "For savin' my ass. Almost thought you was tryin' to get me spaced but... if I'd'a missed a job again, and from gettin' wasted, Mal woulda turned me off this boat for sure" he shook his head, "'Preciate ya lyin' for me, Crazy"

River never flinched as she turned his way, the grin on her lips never wavering.

"I never lie to my Captain" she said seriously, before dancing away out of sight.

Jayne stared after her with his mouth open wide as a black hole.

Just how drunk had he gotten last night?


	9. Hey Jealousy (RiverJayne)

**A/N: Decided it was high time I transferred some more of my one-shots over to here since I'm probably shutting down my LJ soon...**

**Title**: Hey Jealousy

**Prompt by**: n/a - written as a gift for the Copper for a Kiss comm

**Rating**: PG-13

**Setting**: A year or two post-BDM

**Word Count**: 3,060

Supposedly, she met him on Persephone, when she was playin' look out on the last job they pulled. Since they left the place a month ago, twas all the girl had talked about and it was driving Jayne to the point where he was feelin' as crazy as she gorram ought to be!

Little girls yammerin' on about boys and such weren't what Jayne signed up for when he joined the crew of Serenity. Course, back then, Kaylee had been the only chirpy little girly girl and even she knew to hold her tongue when people weren't in the mood for such chatter. She was his mei mei, and Jayne could deal with it if'n she had to be stupidly happy a whole bunch of the time. River was a whole different story, and she was getting more and more annoying to Jayne every day.

First he heard of this boy o' hers was when they got back aboard on Persephone and headed up into the black. She and Kaylee was sat on the couch beyond the galley and Jayne was at the table, cleaning his guns. He could hear the giggling and all, then started gettin' bits of conversation. Every sentence outta the Moonbrain's mouth started with 'Rayden is just so...' followed by a whole string of adjectives and a bunch of sighing that made Jayne wanna spit. Like he needed to know how cute and sweet and all some stupid little hwun-dahn was, just 'cause he come from nearer the Core than his ownself.

Course, didn't matter to Jayne none that Crazy got herself a boy toy. Weren't nobody happier than him that the girl was gettin' a little more sane every day, a little less likely to slash him with butchers knives nor kick him in the head for nothin' he done wrong. Since Miranda, she'd been better, two of them had fought side by side many a time, and he'd almost o' said they trusted each other, if'n he was the type to talk on such a topic, which he weren't.

Things was getting different since their trip to Persephone a few weeks back, that day she'd come in grinnin' all over her face, gushin' in great and glorious detail about this kid she met and got to talkin' to. Just when she seemed to be quietin' down some about the boy she started back up again as Mal announced they was makin' a return trip to the planet they weren't meant to call home. Badger almost always had work for 'em these days, Jayne reckoned 'cause he was just a bit scared of Mal since Miranda. Either way, work meant coin, and Jayne didn't argue with that. What he could argue with was all he had to hear about this stupid Rayden character that he never met and never cared to.

The closer they got to Persephone, the more he seemed to hear about the brat, if not from River goin' all dreamy eyed about him, then from Kaylee gettin' excited to meet him or even Simon who was all for his little sis gettin' hooked up all of a sudden. Jayne thought the Doc'd be the last one to want his mei mei making eyes at fellas, but then he never did understand them stuck up Core folk and their weird ways anyhow.

The crew sat down to breakfast right after River had landed them safe at the Eavesdown Docks. Between mouthfuls of protein, Mal was explainin' how the job was gonna go down, whilst Zoe bounced little Jacob on her knees. The girls fussed the baby like always, and Jayne and Simon both tried to focus alternately on their food and the work that was to come. The Doc was to play at bein' a businessman, a role he was made for now he got a bit more where-with-all about him, and Jayne was to be his bodyguard type. The pair of them would be the decoy, whilst Mal and River got light-fingered and snatched the loot. It was all pretty standard, no worries for anybody, 'ceptin Jayne had one thing that was buggin' him.

"So, where in this plan does Moony fit in her stupid-ass fawnin' over her fancy fella?" he asked around a mouthful of food, much to the disgust of everyone else present, "'Cause she starts up with that when she needs to be concentratin' on the job, we all gonna end up dead."

River stuck her tongue out at him for making such a suggestion, whilst Mal shot his merc a dirty look for saying such a thing.

"Lil' Albatross knows we work before we play, dong ma?" he said, double checking that the girl really did understand that, and she duly nodded her agreement.

The plans all settled, the crew got back to eating and mentally preparing themselves for the days events. It all ought to go off without a hitch but then this was one of the Captain's plans and as such not at all guaranteed to run smooth!

It was a couple of hours later when things got going. Simon played his role pretty good, even Jayne had to admit that, if only in his own head. Still, he kept a hand always to his gun in case things went wrong as so often happened, most especially here on this gorram planet where they was altogether too well known.

Simon and Jayne passed by Mal and River without a word as they moved around the back of the building to get what they came for. The distractin' was pretty easy since the pompous little business man that was actually no better than them was all too eager to wax lyrical about his wares and all. Still, Jayne started gettin' uncomfortable when ten minutes later he still hadn't seen the signal that meant they was clear with the loot. Something weren't right and that meant trouble, he was certain of it.

Making excuses about needing to go check something, Jayne left Simon alone with the seller and headed round back to see what was happening with Mal and River. Got a hell of a gorram surprise when he found the Captain was clearly long gone with the boxes of goods, while River remained, giggling like a school girl at whatever the hwun dahm stood with her was saying.

"What the ruttin' hell you doin', Crazy?" he asked in a low voice, mindful of being overheard, "Where's Mal?"

"Captain Daddy returned home," said River easily, "She was to follow but she was... distracted," she admitted, eyes sparkling with fun as she looked to the young man beside her.

Jayne eyed the kid with suspicion and disgust. He weren't rich nor nothing, but he was stuck up his own pigu some, that much was obvious. Closest the little woman was ever gonna get to someone her own kind these days, since the Core was well out of bounds for fugees and outlaws, and they sure as hell fell into them two categories these days.

"Hello, sir," said the boy, "My name is Rayden."

"Don't care for your name, boy," Jayne told him before he even had a chance to finish,

"Care that we gotta get outta here 'fore her brother gets shot up or some such," he said, head tilting towards River a moment, "Just knew you was gonna get in the way of this plan one way or 'tother, didn't I?" he said, looking to River who duly rolled her eyes.

"He over-reacts, as always," she sighed. "They were talking only."

"You got some funny ideas 'bout what fellas want with a girl like you, Crazy," he smirked a dirty sort of a smirk then, at which Rayden's face hardened.

"Hey, you can't talk like that to her!" he protested, stepping towards Jayne who duly pulled his gun from the holster just enough to make him back up.

"C'mon, kid," he smiled almost evilly. "You just give me a reason to hurt ya, 'cause that'd suit me fine."

"Too much testosterone," River complained, her hands going to her head, "and no time!" she said, her annoyed expression quickly replaced with fear. "He cannot keep his mask in place much longer," she said in panic, looking to Jayne to assist in what she knew he must understand as trouble for Simon.

"You get back," he told her, going so far as to put his hand to her shoulder and push her towards the ship. "I'll get your brother out of a jam and see ya back there."

What Jayne didn't realise was that River did not head back to Serenity alone, grabbing Rayden's hand and dragging him along with her. Course there was nothing he coulda done about it if'n he had paid any mind to her taking boys back home. He was still on a job here and that had to come first, for the sake of his pseudo-family and the coin they was gonna make as much as anything else.

Within a half hour they was back onboard ship, Simon glad to go straight into the waitin' arms of a panicked Kaylee and Mal just pissed that another plan had almost gone all to hell in a handbasket. Jayne didn't see River at first, but assumed she'd be up on the bridge looking to take them out of the world a spell til things settled. Apparently he was wrong as he caught sight of her across the cargo bay, watching whilst that stupid brat from before messed around on the weight bench that was Jayne's and always had been. Anger flashing in his eyes at the both of them for various things, he stalked on over there, not noticing whether anyone else cared or not. As it was, Mal, Kaylee, and Simon was all now gone, the rest never even having bothered to come see what had happened.

"Hey!" he yelled, startling Rayden just a little and making him scramble to his feet, "What in the gorram hell you think you're doing, boy?" asked the merc, though his eyes went fast to River when she giggled. "What you doin' bringing the kid on this boat? You gone and got crazier when we weren't lookin'?"

"None of his business," she told Jayne as she pulled herself up to her full height that still looked pretty short next to him. "She can make a pair with whomever she choose, _wherever_ she chooses," she said indignant as she took a hold of Rayden's hand.

The boy grinned all over his face, thinkin' he was smart and clever for getting the girl all het up over his ownself. Jayne weren't standin' for none of it. Hell, he was looking for an excuse to pummel this guy into the ground, though he hadn't entirely thought about why that oughta be so.

"Get outta my face, old man," the kid said cockily. "Me and my _girlfriend_ here got things to do don't concern you none," he told him, as Jayne silently seethed.

"You watch your tongue, boy, or so help me..." he threatened, though it didn't seem to bother the kid at all as he tugged on River's hand and they began walking away.

"My hero," she whispered, fluttering her eyelashes like the girly girl Jayne knew she weren't, though that didn't bug him half so much as when she went leaning in to kiss the little hwun dahn right on the mouth.

"That's it," he said, losing his tempter entirely by now.

The red mist settled before his eyes and Jayne saw nothing else as he strode over to the kid, practically picked him up by the scruff of his neck and dragged him all but kicking and screaming to the ramp. The second there was gap enough to drop him out, that was just what Jayne did.

"And don't come back, y'hear?!" he yelled after the kid, getting the doors shut up fast afore he could try.

He hadn't done exactly what he wanted to do. Pummel the guy til he couldn't stand would've been good, better to fill him full of lead in fact, but that wouldn't sit right with River and he didn't want that. Sure as the worlds turned, Jayne didn't know why this Rayden kid had made him so mad nor why he couldn't just thrash the guy til he bled on account of River likin' him. Hell, she was probably mad as all hell at him for dropping the guy off the ramp like he had, but that he couldn't help. Brain hadn't exactly been firin' right when he did that, just acted on the instincts that'd kept him alive so long. Not that Rayden had been any threat to his life as such, so...

"Poor Rayden," River sighed heavily.

Only then did Jayne realise he was still facing the cargo bay doors, breathing erratically from the anger pulsing through him and the sudden exertion of tipping the boy off the boat, and that the girl was right up behind him getting in his personal space.

"What you yammerin' on now?" he asked crossly. "Don't you come cryin' at me just 'cause I dropped your boy-toy off this boat, we ain't got no time for his kind."

"He was only means to an end," said River with a roll of her eyes as he finally turned to face her, "Very strange. She assumed her plan would not fail, she had not accounted for his being quite so stubborn or so blind," she said, apparently quite aggravated by somethin', though she had turned and walked away long before the penny dropped with Jayne.

His eyes moved from the girl to the door and back, as the cogs in his head turned over, practically creakin' with the strain of tryin' to figure on what she was tellin' him. Rayden was a mark o' some kind, a set up. Crazy had brought him here to make Jayne mad, but that didn't make no sense unless...

"The light has come on?" said River in the distance, and Jayne turned to see her peeking around the side of the door she had just past through a moment before. "He sees the wood for the trees now," she smiled as she realised she was right.

"You set me up?" he asked her, looking equal parts mad and confused. "What you want from me, girl? Green eyed monster o' jealousy or some such? 'Cause that ain't as like gonna happen," he told her with a shake of his head.

"Dropped the boy off the boat," she reminded him smartly as she came back into the cargo bay and they moved toward each other. "Barely touched the girl and he saw green, then red..."

Jayne Cobb was at a loss, which weren't a completely unnatural state for a fella with limited brain power at the best o' times. Sure'n he had to admit he didn't like seein' that stupid-ass kid Rayden cozying up to his girl and all... But for the life of him, Jayne couldn't figure on when he started thinking she was _his_ girl anyhow! The smile on her face sure proved that she knew it, though how she'd read that clean out of his head afore he even thought on it, Jayne had not an idea.

"She is a genius," she told him smartly, with that look that she mostly pointed at her brother when he was being what she called 'a boob'. "She knew of his feelings and reciprocated," she explained, "Knew he would not admit unless made to, had to construct a plan," she shrugged, her explanation simple enough to her own mind and making altogether too much sense to Jayne now that he thought on it a bit.

"You's some kinda... You're a scheming little moonbrained witch that oughta stay outta my head!" he said, apparently somewhat angrier at being duped than she had anticipated.

Still, River didn't flinch, even when he stepped in closer and pointed an angry finger in her face. Instead she only tilted her head a little and let a smile come to her lips once again.

"He would prefer her elsewhere?" she offered. "Out of head, into bed?" she suggested in such a way as to make Jayne wonder how he'd held out so long without getting closer to her.

"Hell, girl, you better be serious when you say stuff like that to a fella," he told her, swallowing hard at the very thought of what she was suggesting.

Sure'n he had a need to let out a whole bunch of pent up feelin's and such he'd gotten from gettin' so mad about the kid that was here before, and at River herself for messin' him around. She had a body he'd seen do things enough to send a man blind just from lookin', and with her mind almost all fixed up these days, and her bein' of age and all, there weren't really nothin' stoppin' him from...

"She is too much for boys to handle," River told him, her hand creeping up onto his shoulder, "Needs a man like him... like Jayne," she said, her eyes meeting his once again, looking as sane as she ever had in spite of the fact she was making him offers that oughta be her craziest idea yet.

"I go to the special hell, I'm blamin' you," he said definitely, even as he swept her up off her feet and got to carryin' her straight down to his bunk.

All River could do was giggle at his attitude, glad her plan had come together.

Later, she must send a wave to her friend, Rayden, and thank him for his part in her plans. He was a good actor, not least since he had no leanings toward womenfolk in the first place. River might explain that to Jayne in time, but not before she got what she wanted; a night in the arms of the man she had not realised she loved so much til she heard him one night, telling the crew of some special woman he'd made time with whilst planetside.

Even geniuses had green-eyed monsters inside sometimes, but no more. Jayne was hers now and she was to be his, for tonight and forever. After all, the only thing stronger than jealousy is love.


	10. Of Hats and Sexin (RiverJayne)

**Title**: Of Hats, and Sexin', and Math, Oh My!

**Prompt by**: based on artwork by raven_40

**Rating**: PG-13

**Setting**: post-BDM

**Word Count**: 1260

Jayne hadn't known when it started, hadn't been aware of her mind probing inside o' his and taking out thoughts she never oughta seen. Sure'n if he had he mighta done something about it sooner, but nobody was ready for this, nobody ever could be.

Serenity was set to auto-pilot, somethin' that didn't sit so well with the Captain, which was why he found himself taking the Pilot's seat his ownself and flying awhile. He wanted River called to order and yet when he got on the comms to his Lil 'Tross, she didn't answer from nowhere.

"Anybody seen my pilot anywhere abouts?" he asked, broadcasting throughout the ship still, but all he got was negative responses from each and everyone o' his crew, "Then can we all have a look around, see if we can spot the girl since I'm up here piloting my ownself when I'm paying her to do that very same ruttin' thing!" he yelled as if he were mad - he wasn't really.

"Need to get us a gorram new Pilot" muttered Jayne, "if'n this one can't be trusted to..." he stopped short of finishing his sentence as he wandered into the galley and found the very young woman everybody was looking for.

"There is her Man called Jayne," River smiled widely. "Her darling betrothed," she beamed, as the merc's mouth dropped open wide.

"I'm ya what now, ya feng le little witch?" he asked, both shocked and annoyed. "And what in the gorram hell you doin' with my hat?" he demanded to know.

"Married couples share," she said with a steely gaze, just as Simon appeared behind her.

"Doc, ya been messin' with Moony's meds again?" asked Jayne, looking past the girl sporting his cunning hat to the Doctor behind.

"No, why do... ask?" the question Simon meant to ask became disjointed as his sister turned to face him, showing that him the full ensemble that she wore including a T-Shirt with hand-written letters that stated 'Mrs Cobb'.

His mouth dropped open wide as he worked his jaw, completely baffled and beyond stuck for words to say. He was saved from having to say anything when suddenly River's attention was taken by Kaylee and Zoe approaching.

"What's goin' on?" asked the mechanic in all innocence, rushing in past Jayne towards River, only to be met by a pair of knitting needles that almost went straight up her nose.

"Jayne-man is hers and hers alone!" she declared angrily, her arm extended with needles pointing at both Kaylee and Zoe.

"We sure as anythin' don't want to take Jayne away, little one, that I can promise ya," said the Captain's second, though he was stood by the merc still and he looked sideways at her when she slighted him in such a way.

"Hands off my man, bitches!" River raved, much to the shock of the rest of the crew.

"River!" her brother gasped, "How can you act this way...?"

"She knows what she wants and what she must do to get it," the young woman insisted, eyes flashing angrily as she looked to Simon once again. "Captain rules that wedlock only shall lead to the notions he conjures becoming flesh."

"Wedlock?" echoed Kaylee, looking from River's face to her 'Mrs Cobb' T-shirt and then behind her.

"You been makin' proposals to the girl, Jayne?" asked Zoe, her eyes following a similar path.

"Nah, like I would!" he protested, only his brain was mostly still working on unscrambling the rest o' what the crazy little woman had been sayin', an awful feelin' settling in the pit of his stomach just when he started to figure it out. "Gao yang jong duh goo yang!" he cursed to himself, though in the now-quiet room everybody heard anyway.

"Now he comprehends her," smiled River, not a sweet innocent girlish grin, but a sexually-charged smile of a woman with all kinds of dirty thoughts on her mind. "Sees his pictures match her own, they desire the same things, but only wedded bliss shall do for Captain Daddy to bless them."

"Mei mei, in Gods name," said Simon, his hand going to his forehead. "Please tell me you're not suggesting marrying Jayne and... and..."

"Sexin' with him," Kaylee helpfully supplied, as the doctor turned a shade of green.

Jayne didn't hear a word, all he knew was the blood rushin' in his ears, and a memory swirling up from hours before when they was passin' through the cargo bay...

_Several Hours Earlier..._

Jayne and Mal finished stashing away their latest haul, having been paying no mind to who ever else might be there. It was only when they turned around to leave that they noticed River, high up on the catwalk railings, one leg balanced on each side in the splits, perfectly balanced.

It occurred to Jayne that walking underneath might afford him a view never seen of the girl who had fast become a young woman of late. Sure'n what he could see of her long legs was doin' things to him she had no business doing, but that kinda thing seemed to be happenin' a lot lately where Moony was concerned.

When she danced or fought or stretched or ate a certain way, all of it was makin' Jayne ache in all kinds of places of late. Maybe it was 'cause he hadn't had a whore in a good long while, or maybe River was just becoming the kinda woman to capture Jayne's attention.

"Hey!" Mal's sharp tone and the smack he delivered across the merc's shoulder caught his attention in a second, "You start makin' eyes at my Albatross like that, you best be plannin' a wedding, dong ma?" he said with s serious look. "Ain't no man touchin' her otherwise," he told him definitely before striding off to the engine room to seek out Kaylee.

"I'll be in m' bunk," Jayne muttered as he too walked away.

_Back to the present..._

Both men had left the cargo bay in opposite directions without a notion that River knew exactly what their conversation entailed, but this proved she had heard or maybe seen what had been in Jayne's mind then. He might be ashamed of himself, if'n it weren't for the fact the River-girl seemed to like the ideas he'd had dancing in his head, however filthy they seemed.

"She will be Mrs Cobb," she told the assembled crew definitely. "Nobody will change her mind."

"I ain't for tryin'," Kaylee replied, her hands raised in some kind of mock-surrender.

Though Zoe and Simon both might've tried to explain why this was a bad idea, both were extremely aware of River's ability to kill them both with her pinky finger if not her brain just as soon as they argued.

"Good, settled then," she smiled, moving to grab a startled Jayne's hand and making to drag him towards the bridge. "Captain Daddy can perform a ceremony, and then she will show him what she hides beneath her skirt... and he can show her how it is possible for two people to bend in such a fashion as he pictures," she continued with a slightly confused expression. "She likes the idea well enough, but the math doesn't allow for the angles..."

Jayne dumbly followed his future Mrs Cobb. Sure'n he'd be much dumber to argue with the assassin who was dead-set on fornicatin' with him, than to just accept the deal!

"What just happened here?" he vaguely heard Simon ask from the galley door, and not a person could entirely explain.

The End


	11. All Around Me (RiverJayne)

**Title:**** All Around Me**

**Prompt by:**** basched**

**Rating:**** PG-13**

**Setting:**** post-BDM**

**Word Count:**** 637**

**Prompt****: "I can feel you all around me." Rayne fic.**

All her life, eyes had been on her. She had been surrounded by those that would watch and judge and interfere, and she hated it all.

To dance was to live for River Tam, but the audience that stared through every recital were oppressive rather than uplifting. She pushed them out and away, closed her eyes as she owned the stage, willed the world away, so far away.

In study she was the thing to be studied, the insect under the microscope to be checked, dissected, graded. Parents that were judge and jury, unknowingly executioner of her near-loveless childhood.

Then came the teachers and doctors. The agents that watched her, tested her, crept inside her mind and violated all she had left to call her own mind.

Since then the walls closed in on her, crushing her fragile mind, her very being. She crumpled beneath the weight of all they did to her, all they imposed upon her, and she almost faded away entirely into what they wanted her to become.

Simon saved her and condemned her all in one. Life now was still as monitored and watched as ever. Drugs pushed into her skin, needles and pins, it was nothing compared to the overwhelming pushing force of eyes that watched, hands that held her back, strict orders that were to keep her safe and keep her jailed all in one.

Seven out of nine were to blame, one was different.

Though he watched her too, Jayne's care and attention was never oppressive to the girl. His arms around her were safe and calming, brought her back from a brink too far.

The first time he kissed her was the most free she ever felt. Though he wished to claim her as his own, he would never stifle her, never bolt the door on her imagination or abilities. He was prepared to let her run free and wild and deal with any consequences; he was the only one she could trust to be capable of it.

"I can feel you all around me," she told him, calling out from the cargo bay up onto the walkway where he stood watching her dance.

He didn't wonder at how she knew of his presence even with her eyes closed. She always knew, and it had long since stopped bothering him as to how.

"He is the warmth of the sun in the depths of cold dark space, and the safety net to catch her if she falls too far," she smiled brightly, opening her eyes then as she looked up at him, beaming.

"And she is a crazy ass little woman who ought be on the bridge afore Mal has her hide for flyin' us into some asteroid or other," he told her, leaning over the rail and leering at the view it afforded him.

River rolled her eyes.

"She is to handle Serenity before she handles him," she poked out her tongue before running at the stairs and up to him.

Jayne couldn't get the smile off his face as she bolted up those steps and threw herself into his strong arms to kiss him hard on the mouth.

"Go on, get!" he told her, ifling her towards the bridge and smacking her on the backside for good measure as she went, knowing if she stayed he was just going to drag her off to his bunk and neither of them would get any kind of work done!

All the way to the bridge River could still feel her Jayne, as she could feel him everywhere. He was always with her, as she was always with him.

They were two halves of the whole and perfectly matched in such ways as the rest of the 'verse would never truly understand, and River didn't care to explain it either.


	12. First Date (RiverJayne)

**Title:**** First Date**

**Prompt by****: raven_40**

**Rating:**** PG/PG-13**

**Setting****: quote a while post-BDM**

**Word Count:**** 1062**

**Prompt****: a date or a first date; something romantic**

They'd been bunking together for weeks now, few months maybe, Jayne weren't much for keeping track of such things. All he knew was him and the little woman was happy enough to get along together and the crew had adjusted to that. Course that was true until a couple of days back when suddenly it seemed he did something wrong. River wouldn't or couldn't tell him what it was, no matter how much he tried to get it out of her.

It fell to little Kaylee to make some sense of what was said... or rather what wasn't said to Jayne himself. Girlfolk liked to talk to each other afore the men in their lives, that'd always been so. The mechanic reckoned it had taken her and Inara both to get River's reasoning out of her and then she'd come right along to Jayne to let him know what was up.

"She wants to feel special, Jayne," Kaylee explained, "Y'know, the poor little thing ain't even ever had a date her whole life?"

"A date?" Jayne had questioned the meaning of such a phrase, though it was a simple enough concept, surely!

"Sure'n you treat her nice and all," the mechanic said fast before she caused offence. "River knows you like her well enough, but... well, a girl likes a little fuss from time to time. Fancy dinner, dancin' maybe," she smiled bright and wide, eyes alight as she thought on past dates of her own, maybe with Simon, maybe before.

Jayne didn't care enough to think on it, since his mind was racing with other things. They was out deep in the black, weren't as like to be planet-side for at least a week and then no place worth takin' his bao-bei out on her very first date of all things! This required some deep thought, which a merc like him weren't exactly known for.

It took a couple of days before if was figured out, and Jayne felt like a real _buhn dahn_, dressed up in one of the Doc's fancified shirts (albeit altered by 'Nara to fit), a tie Mal leant him, and all. The mess had been cleaned up real nice, flowers strung up by little Kaylee, and the best food that Zoe could help Jayne conjure smellin' pretty good on the stove. Weren't like nothing that'd ever been done on the little Firefly they called home before, but then that was the point.

With Mal covering as pilot, and the grovelling Jayne had to do to the Cap'n for that was the most painful thing for the merc, River came wandering through looking a vision in a fine dark red dress that fit like it were made for her. Possible it had been. The point was she'd come a helluva long way from the funny little girl first arrived aboard this boat, naked as a jaybird that first day, then wearing whatever was spare for a long time after. She was a woman now, beautiful and graceful as she was smart and deadly. Jayne loved every facet of her and she knew it now more than ever as he looked to her and smiled.

"He has made much effort," she smiled back warmly.

"Damn straight," he agreed with gusto, before remembering to pull out the chair for her to sit down.

To his credit, River noted, Jayne did not once mention how trying it was for him to remember to be a gentleman, though he thought on it enough. She knew this was not what he was used to and not exactly how he would like to spend an evening, but that only made it all the more special to River.

She did not know exactly why she cared to experience a real date, but something inside her bubbled up fiercely green when Kaylee or Inara spoke of such things. All of Jayne's efforts meant the world to her as he served her the best food that could be made from the given supplies and tried to sound interested in talking to her about things that clearly bored him.

"This has all been beautiful," she said when the meal was done and the hour grew later still. "She appreciates it, more than he could know."

"Ain't done yet," Jayne told her with a smirk as he hopped up from the table and moved to flip a switch on the little recording device on the counter top.

Even River had not realised what he was doing until it was done and the most melodic tune filled the ship. Her eyes lit up as her ears took in the delightful song that made her want to dance immediately and never stop. As if he were the Reader instead of her, Jayne was suddenly there again, offering a hand for her to take.

No sooner had she considered it than River was in Jayne's arms as he concentrated far too much in moving her around the room. Carefully he spun her and yet there was still a little too much force as he pulled her back. She collided into his chest with a thud, but laughed about it anyway, causing him to do the same, that low rumble of humour that warmed her insides each time she heard and felt it.

"Ain't much for dancin'," he admitted, as he held her close, pushing her hair back off her face then. "But, this whole thing kinda what ya had in mind for a date?" he asked her.

"No," she admitted as she stared up at him worryingly a moment before she explained. "It's infinitely better than even her genius mind and imagination could invent," she told him with a smile, going up on her toes to kiss him, a long deep kiss that conveyed just how pleased she was with all his efforts tonight.

"Glad to please ya, bao-bei," he told her, just as soon as she let him draw breath.

"Hmm, she wishes he wouldn't stop yet," she replied, with a look in her eyes that was unmistakable.

The dishes, the music, the entire room abandoned, Jayne happily carried his woman off to their bunk without a thought in his head but her and the activities to come. Hell, if this was what came of dates, he might not let this be just a first, but the first of many!


	13. Sugar Water (RiverJayne)

**Title****: Sugar Water**

**Prompt by****: sunshineali**

**Rating****: PG-13**

**Setting****: post-BDM**

**Word Count****: 548**

**Prompt****: hummingbird feeder; Rayne**

It is different for the others. They do not look at her, but through her. Past the skin and bone, the sparkling eyes and raven hair. She is not beauty nor woman at all. She is sister, she is broken, she is weapon. Walks on her feet, sees the sun, and she is a girl, and yet so many days she is a world away from what she once was.

River copes. She understands, but does not comprehend. Even though answers flowed free as the water she is named for, they only wash away so much, perhaps too much. Where confusion once laid, clarity does not replace. The two intertwine as before, but differently. Contradictions, like the preacher man's symbol, like the pilot's skills. They fell before she ever began to dance her lethal steps the first time. So many times now, so much blood, on blood, on blood...

The redness fills her head, her eyes, her spirit. River cannot wash away such a torrent. It is not all her doing. That which is must be necessary, makes her a saviour, and yet it hurts. A sting in her soul, a barb embedded deep, and only one can save her.

So many run scared but he would never, could never. In the beginning, before she was what she ought to be, all that she could be, then his fear showed. Now he understood, better than even she. For an ape man, he had brains enough. When her head boiled over, when everything hurt, more inside than out, she craved his sweetness. Nobody saw but her, deliberate as he was to hide it. Big and brash and awkward to the world, but to her, the sweet nectar she craved to soothe her wounds, her very soul.

River flows, flits, flies. She appears elemental, electric, effervescent. The truth of the dancer is darker, devilish, ...

"River?"

His voice shudders through her like a shot of lightning, her whole body shivering with the force. She has seen and heard not a glimmer of light, not the breath of a word until now. Nightmares come, dark and confusing, drain her dry of spirit. Here she comes, to his warmth, his sweet nectar of comfort and reverie. Strong arms around her, hold her close, fingers through her hair that ease out each knot of confusion.

"Rough night, lil' bird?" he asks, lying down on the bunk, bringing her down with him.

Head on his chest, hands either side, she hears and feels the very breath of him. It is her solace, her nourishment, her safety. All that River ever needs is here and now. The rest all fades, means nothing or less. Jayne brings her back to life, to what she is and wants to be, to all she could ever hope to resemble.

"Better," she breathes easily for the first time in hours, first time in days maybe.

She's lost track again.

It doesn't matter. Matter's even less when she shifts on top of him, pushes herself up, face level with his own. Lips meet lips and all else is forgotten.

She is still at last and yet vibrating with energy that no-one sees, except for her Jayne who holds on tight, with a beautiful promise to never let her slip away.


	14. Feeling of Serenity (River)

**Title****: Feeling of Serenity**

**Prompt by****: susanmarier**

**Rating****: PG-13**

**Setting****: post-BDM**

**Word Count****: 572**

**Prompt****: "corner of no and where" and "it's okay to leave them to die" - River-centric.**

In space no-one can hear you scream.

Not true, of course. Crew aboard a ship can hear, hear all. Every scream, cry, nightmare. Not as well as she does, but ears will always hear.

The River girl hears with her mind as well, sounds that do not belong to her, that she shouldn't hear, shouldn't know. Like the water in her name, flooding through cracks in the dam. Then the dam burst.

Drowning. Far out and lost. The corner of no and where, Captain said, but her black was different. Darker, longer, stretched out further than her life could ever go. Sinking in the quick sand, no mathematics could save her.

Simon tried. Everybody tried. The world was grey, metallic, surrounded her with care, but still lost. Not waving, but drowning, and no-one to save her. Held close but far away still, miles and miles.

M was important. Maidenhead, Miranda, molluscs of the celaphod family. Mice and men. Men and women, and little children.

She had been a child once. Ribbons and ballet, dancing until the worlds spun. Dance to make it stop now.

M for murder. M for madness.

Clarity was welcome and full of dread in one. The River ran like the fluid on her hands. Blood of men, monsters, more. Blades flashing, time racing, dam cracking, water flooding. Everything the clearest blur.

It's okay to leave them to die. Brother spoke untruths. Too much death and all a new flood inside her mind. Fill the gaps between no and where, all the corners washed away.

Then it was over. All over now. She screamed no more. She walked on her feet, touched with her hands, and she was a girl. Not the sunshine of the mechanic or the allure of the companion, but girl, woman, person at last.

Some laughed, some cried. The joy that it was over, the sadness of others lost. River could do neither, and all at once. She was herself, but had no meaning. No pretty dresses and a parents hand to hold. No voices in the dark she could not quantify. All gone, just a shell and a memory, and a strength she hardly knows left behind.

Out on the corner of no and where, lost in space but ever glad to float there. This is the most peaceful revelry she has known for as long as she can recall.

There are emotions, there are challenges. She will yet feel pain and loss, blades and bullets will be her ally and her enemy. She is one of them now, and yet shall never fit complete. River girl was not made to fit, nor altered to do so.

Still, the bridge is warm, inviting. A leather-bound symbol laid amongst the controls to keep her spirit strong. A plastic giant lizard figure eyeing it with confusion might amuse if not so serious.

Safe place, Serenity, with those who have been lost, found, and lost again all around her. They say she is going to belong here, and that they are always watching. Voices in her head are welcome now. It was not okay to leave them to die, but they are not angry. It wasn't her fault, nobodies fault.

As the worlds turn, the River runs, and breathes, and smiles. She has a place to belong now, and it is no place at all. Out in the black, amongst the stars, amongst her family, and serene.


	15. Us and Them (MalInara)

**Title****: Us and Them**

**Prompt by****: xfirefly9x**

**Rating****: PG-13**

**Setting****: post-BDM**

**Word Count****: 1,239**

**Prompt****: Mal/Inara - crossing paths with the Alliance**

"This somethin' like what you had in mind?" asked Mal with a smirk he couldn't help as he assisted Inara with her chair.

"It's certainly different to your usual choice of establishment," she commented with a genuine smile as she looked around at the other patrons of the restaurant.

This place was most definitely what one might call high-end, and no doubt the prices were ten times what any normal person could afford. Inara would love to be suspicious about how exactly Mal was paying for this rather expensive dinner date, but that was a conversation that would wait for another time. He had made an effort which was all she had wanted. Complaining about it seemed unfair, tonight of all nights.

"Waiter?" Mal summoned the man to the table.

Inara watched with curiosity and amusement as the Captain muttered to the server, handed over a couple of bills, and tipped a wink. This night was getting stranger by the minute, but still she would bite her lip and let it go. It was their anniversary after all, and if Mal wanted to spoil her, Inara didn't like to argue. Still, she was a little concerned by all the money being spent.

"You know, Mal, I appreciate the effort, more than you know," she said, sipping her water. "But really, I know your situation and it is not at all affluent..."

"Hey, just you let me be concernin' myself with my own coin, dong ma?" he told her sternly, though he was smiling again in a second. "Did I tell you yet how amazing you look, 'Nara?"

"You didn't actually."

"Well, I'm tellin' ya now. Most beautiful woman I ever did see any day in time, but tonight? Fair took my breath away when you stepped outta that shuttle looking like you do."

"Thank you, Mal," she smiled, putting her hand over his on the table.

She was almost blushing at the compliment. He was still the only one who could cause that in her.

Theirs was to be a romantic evening, no doubt about it, as it should be on such a date. Mal wasn't much for keeping to the conventions of anniversaries. You loved a person, to his mind that ought to be every day. Gifts weren't for specified times, just for when you felt like buying 'em. Still, it meant something to Inara to be treated extra special on such an occasion, and Mal would do just about anything to make her happy these days.

Of course, the one thing guaranteed to upset that smile on his lover's pretty face was sat right across the room. Mal had clocked them on the way in and hoped against hope that they hadn't noticed him just the same. He never was all that inconspicuous, always insisting on a brown coat whenever he could get away with wearing one. Besides, enough folks knew his face these days, his name, his reputation. Them that didn't know him sure knew Inara, especially in this kind of place. One wrong move, they got themselves spotted, and there was bound to be trouble. In spite of everything that had gone before, the Alliance was still strong, and they never did pull punches.

Mal and Inara ordered their food and shared the usual animated conversation. It was hard for him to keep his eyes from straying to the right on a semi-regular basis, but it didn't seem as if Inara noticed. Mal ought to have known better, ought to have counted on her being smarter than that. Between courses she leaned in closer, hand closing over his on the table one more time as she looked deep into his eyes. He expected sweet nothings or plans for later when they got back to the ship. It wasn't what he got.

"After all these years, you're still underestimating me, Captain Reynolds," she told him, playing the part of a besotted lover even as her words betrayed her.

"Underestimate you, 'Nara? As if I ever would," he smiled, matching her tone and looks as he realised she had been watching him watching them this entire time. "You recognise 'em at all?"

"No, they can't be of consequential rank or birth," she said, still grinning as she brought her free hand to his cheek, continuing with their semi-charade. "Or they're just so work orientated they've never been out in public much before."

"It bother you to leave before dessert?" he checked, kissing her palm.

"If it means the difference between getting arrested and not, I think I can stand to go without the delicacies of a restaurant you can already ill afford."

That decision made, the couple shared a further smile and got up from their seats. Inara cast her eyes to her left and tried to seem natural when she caught the Alliance men staring. There was every chance they were just admiring her as many a man had in the past. At the same time, it could be that she and Mal had been identified. Taking chances was a fool's game.

Mal offered his arm to Inara and she willingly took it. They passed by the desk to settle up their bill and were then quick to make for the exit, still trying to appear as if they were leaving only because their passion had overtaken them and nothing else. It seemed to work, they made it outside into the courtyard, but that was just as far as they got.

"Excuse me, Miss?"

Inara and Mal winced in perfect unison at the sound of those words, stopping walking on the very same step. Inara squeezed Mal's arm and then turned around in one fluid and graceful movement, a pretty smile on her lips.

"Can I help you?" she asked the Alliance man, grateful that Mal seemed to understand she would rather he kept his back to the stranger for now.

"Oh, no," the other man seemed to blush as he bumbled towards her. "No, I wish to help you. I believe you dropped this inside," he told her, holding out a jewelled clip that Inara recognised.

Her hand went to her hair and she realised it really was hers.

"Sheh-sheh," she said politely, nodding once as he placed the clip in her hand. "Could you help me, bao bei?" she asked Mal then, moving in front of him so he could refasten the piece into her hair. "Thank you," she said as soon as he was done, leaning up to kiss him.

As she clung to him, she peered over Mal's shoulder, noting that the embarrassed little Alliance man had already backed off, heading inside without so much as another word.

"He's gone," she whispered to Mal. "I think we might actually have stayed for dessert after all," she sighed then.

"Really? Well, can't say as I'm sorry to be takin' you home early," he told her.

"Is that so?" said Inara leaning in closer again. "You mean to say you have further plans for our evening, Captain Reynolds?"

"I mean to say," he agreed, before capturing her lips beneath his own.

They walked away from the restaurant then without a backwards glance, whilst inside the Alliance men received a complimentary bottle of the finest wine the Core had to offer. After that they ought to get awful sleepy and much sooner than mere alcohol could cause. Mal wasn't leaving anything to chance, not tonight.


	16. Thrilling Heroics (RiverJayne)

**Title****: Thrilling Heroics**

**Prompt by****: n/a - written for the Girl Saves Boy comm**

**Rating****: PG-13**

**Setting****: post-BDM**

**Word Count****: 2,266 (+ 820 alternate ending)**

**Prompt****: n/a - written for the Girl Saves Boy comm**

It ought to have been an easy job. Get in, get out, no fuss made. Course the fact this whole thing was one of the Captain's plans shoulda proved it weren't ever gonna be that simple. Jayne was known for bein' dumb though and went along with Mal's schemes time after time, in spite of the fact these things almost always went south.

This time he weren't alone on his mission. Not that he'd thought Crazy'd be much use to him in a case like this, never really thought he'd need her at all. Sure'n she was capable enough of havin' his back and that was no bad thing, but up to now he'd been wonderin' if he really wanted her behind him where he couldn't see what she was doin'.

Jayne'd given River all manner o' reasons not to trust him over the years, and when he went down with a wound he couldn't much think he was gonna survive, he wouldn'ta blamed her none if she done turned tail and run to save her own pretty skin.

Girlfolk weren't to be trusted, that he learned plenty times over, and when it came to fightin' and such, weren't many women Jayne'd think to be capable of doin' what needed to be done. Even Zoe weren't so very much use these days, losin' a little of her hard exterior in a flash when the baby'd come. Jayne didn't blame her none, kid already had to make it through his time in the 'verse without a Pa to look to, couldn't have his mother gettin' shot up and not comin' home any time soon.

All these thoughts got kinda blurry and mixed up after a while when Jayne realised he was wearin' a whole lotta his insides on the outside. Only thing he was real sure of was that he was movin'. Couldn't think it was under his own steam given how fuzzy the world was, how heavy as lead he felt from head to toes, but he weren't bein' still that was for sure.

Somewhere in the distance someone was talking, one voice singin' out so sweet... Hell, he had an idea it might even be the angels callin' him to the gates, 'ceptin he was pretty sure he wouldn't be headed that way even if his time was up.

Not long after, even that faded out to nothin' and blackness proved he was on the way out of the world he knew, if'n only for a little while. Right now, Jayne Cobb weren't so very certain this was a brief trip into the darkness o' the end, but there was not a gorram thing he could do about it.

* * *

><p>Jayne weren't so sure when he tried to open his eyes if'n he was gonna find a world he knew or somethin' a whole lot worse. His limbs were weighed down, sinking like he was in a great vat of molasses, fit to be drowned unless he tried hard to hold on, find his way outta the dark. Light existed but just a little tiny bit, like a lightning bug flying around trying to get his attention. Jayne did his darnedest to focus and eventually the black faded into blue and grey, the familiar smell of the sterile and uninviting infirmary.<p>

Twas a miracle to the merc just to know he was still livin'. How he got back here he hadn't a gorram clue, but here he was and living and breathin', for now at least. Course he expected it'd be the Doc hovering around his bed right now, but that weren't the case.

"That you, girly?" he asked, voice hoarse and even rougher than usual in the quiet.

Dumbest question he ever asked, since he knew it was her. Only one on this ship looked like that, all young and pretty like a girl should be, but at the same time so obviously battle scarred, inside and out.

"She is here," said River softly, not seeming to move a muscle as she answered him, just staying where she was right at the foot of the bed, starin' straight and true as she did when she was piloting the ship.

The blue-grey dress she'd been wearin' when they headed out on their job was now a mass of brown and red, soaked through with blood Jayne hoped weren't hers and yet hated knowing was most like to be his own.

"Thought for sure I was dead," he said, trying to clear his throat so he could speak some more but the rest of what he was going to say died on his tongue the minute his brain caught up to him.

Where they was, out in the desert, just the two of 'em, weren't no way Jayne'd up and walked his ownself back here the state he was in. Wound he had he oughta be as dead as he figured he had been. Weren't no time for the moonbrain to get back to the ship and fetch him no help, he knew that. Girl had a morbid and creepifyin' habit o' tellin' him how long he may or may not live with holes blown in him. Didn't bother Jayne none but he got to learn as much from her as from experience what he was gonna survive easy and what he wouldn't.

Fact he'd got back here and was still in the land of the livin' told Jayne some kinda miracle had happened, if'n he believed in such a thing. Only proper explanation he could come up with seemed more than a little nuts, that was for gorram sure.

"You?" he said, staring down at River once again, "You carry me back here?" he asked, sure'n she'd laugh at such a dumb suggestion, maybe think he was crazy as they all knew she was, but River didn't laugh, didn't even react at all at first.

"Definition of carry; to take or support from one place to another; to transport or convey," she reeled off like a gorram dictionary, like he oughta known she would, "His assessment is true" she agreed as her eyes came to meet his, a smile almost playing at her lips as she added, "More accurate phrase might be she dragged him home, at least the last fifty four point two six metres," she told him quite seriously.

Jayne didn't know how to take it, not the way she said it nor what it meant. She put her ownself in danger helpin' to save his worthless hide. Would he o' done the same for her? These days, he surely would, though he never once said it. Never reckoned on her feelin' the same, thinkin' he was worth the risk and all.

"Shoulda saved your ownself," he told her, breaking to cough afore he could say more, "No use in worryin' over an old hwun-dahn like me."

"No," she shook her head at that, as definite as ever he saw her, face set in that look she got when she knew she was gorram right and weren't nobody, not even her brother, gonna change it around, "Had to save him, had to," she said with a nod of her head to make it clearer to him, "Saving him was saving herself. She fears to be one without the other, fears she will not be one and whole again," she explained, albeit in such a ways as Jayne was more lost then when she begun.

"These drugs your gorram brother pumped into me ain't makin' you sound no less crazy, ya moon-brained little worman," he said simply, hopin' against hope she'd speak just as plain as he needed her to.

"She understands, simple terms at such times," she agreed, moving on light ballet points that always suited her, even now in her blood-soaked dress, all tired and worn by the days events, "She feels warmth of emotion when she is here with him," she said with a feint smile as she gazed down at him, "Man called Jayne inspires the girl to be woman, to be all he would want. Plain, simple words," she reminded herself then, her eyes closed a moment before she opened 'em up again and stared deep into his own, "She loves him."

Had Jayne not already been lying on his back, them words was fit to put him there with shock. Never thought about the girl feelin' anythin' for him as such. Sure'n she was built in such a way that a man was gonna notice, and as she got older and stronger and all, well, he had one or two fantasies hidden away in the back of his brain where he hoped she never saw. Hell, he figured she'd run him through with that butcher's knife she once took to his chest she ever knew how he'd dreamt o' her more'n a few times. Still, from her side, he got nothin'.

Couple of times he thought she was tryin' to be flirty and such, but love? She loved him? Certainly proved she felt somethin', risking herself the way she had to get him back here afore the worse happened but it didn't make no sense, not any of it, not least 'cause Jayne was so pumped full of drugs he daren't even think much on this bein' real.

"I didn't ever..." he started to say, but already the thick black molasses that had tried to hold him before was creeping back up, sucking down one limb at a time, pulling him into the deep dark.

"Ssh," he heard River say, felt her hair brush his cheek as she leant over him, though he struggled to see her anymore, "Be okay," she promised, even as a dampness hit against his face like the lightest rain, "Good bye, Man called Jayne".

Her whispered words were honey sweet and feather light and he wanted to hang on to 'em, stay right here and cling on, but it weren't working no more. Jayne really didn't wanna close his eyes but it was like he had no choice in it. Somethin' took him over, dragged him down so deep he started to wonder if this time he really was gonna be gone for good.

* * *

><p>Come as a shock to Jayne Cobb when he could manage to look at the world the next time. Coulda been a few minutes or a couple o' days since the last, he really couldn't be sure. What he did know was that River weren't stood there no more, but just the same he weren't alone.<p>

"Mal?" his voice was rougher than usual as he spoke to the Captain stood at the foot of the bed where the girl had been before, "What did...?"

"'S alright, Jayne," the other man told him, though no smile graced his lips and his eyes was cold as steel, "Doc's got everythin' under control, you ain't goin' no place," he assured him, though there weren't nothin' comfortin' about the way he was looking right through the injured merc.

"How long was I out?" he asked curiously, wonderin' on River - had she just left or been gone a long time?

"Nigh on a day now since you got that hole blown in ya," Mal told him, clearing his throat before he went on, "You know exactly what happened out there?" he asked, leaning over on the edge of the bed, waitin' for an answer Jayne couldn't rightly give.

"Know the girl gorram saved my life, Mal," he said, finding it all kinds o' strange to admit, "Where's she at now anyhow?" he asked then, wonderin' on why the Captain couldn't meet his eyes no more, "I asked ya where River was?" he tried again when Mal turned away running a hand over his face.

"She's gone, Jayne," he said at last, turning to face him again, "Got you back here and... and collapsed her ownself. Weren't nothin' left we could do for her..." he trailed off, swallowing a lump in his throat he weren't so used to findin' there.

Weren't so many folk he could find to cry over, hardened as he had been by war and all, knowing the way the world worked and making his peace with it. This was different and he knew even Jayne, tough and unfeelin' as he was, was gonna find it tough to take.

"What ...?" he said, his expression twisting through one emotion after the other, all based in the pain family and laced with confusion that was real as anythin' ever had been, "I don't..."

"Ain't your fault, Jayne," Mal told him sharply, not 'cause he was mad at the merc, after all he meant what he said 'bout the guy not needin' to feel no guilt, even though he was pretty sure he would anyhow, he never asked to be saved nor for her that saved him to kill herself tryin'.

Jayne couldn't say a word. He wanted to, had a whole heap o' things he didn't understand and hoped Mal might explain. At the same time, he knew the Cap'n'd have no more clue than he did 'bout what he musta dreamt 'tween bein' shot up and wakin' up here.

Strangest part was, he didn't believe it was nothin' he made up in his head. River had been here, real or ghost or whatever, she was right there with him, and she'd said what she said and meant every word.

For the first time in a long time, Jayne Cobb shed a tear.

* * *

><p><span>ALTERNATE ENDING<span>

Come as a shock to Jayne Cobb when he could manage to look at the world the next time. Coulda been a few minutes or a couple o' days since the last time, he really couldn't be sure. What he did know was that River weren't stood there no more, but just the same he weren't alone.

"Mal?" his voice was even rougher than usual as he spoke to the Captain stood at the foot of the bed where the girl had been before, "What did...?"

"'S alright, Jayne," the other man told him, though no smile graced his lips and his eyes was cold as steel, "Doc's got everythin' under control, you ain't goin' no place definite yet," he assured him, though there weren't nothin' comfortin' about the way he was looking right through the injured merc.

"How long was I out?" he asked curiously, wonderin' on River - had she just left or been gone a long time?

"Nigh on a day now since you got that hole blown in ya" Mal told him, clearing his throat before he went on, "You know exactly what happened out there?" he asked, leaning over on the edge of the bed, waitin' for an answer Jayne couldn't rightly give.

"Know the girl gorram saved my life, Mal," he said, finding it all kinds o' strange to admit, "Where's she at now anyhow?" he asked then, wonderin' on why the Captain couldn't meet his eyes no more, "I asked ya where River was?" he tried again when Mal turned away running a hand over his face.

"She's gone, Jayne," he said at last, "Gone to hide herself away in her bunk, no doubt sobbin' her gorram heart out over you," he said, glancing back at him now with a very serious look still, "Y'know, I seen the little woman take on men and Reavers. Got stuck with knives and bullets and hardly flinch at all, but sight o' you so messed up..." he shook his head, "Damn near broke the girl's heart."

Jayne didn't know how to take bein' told such a thing. Never did occur to him much that River cared anythin' for him, least not til she was here before sayin' words the like o' which he never hard from a woman he weren't payin'. Them was fake sentiments and such, he knew it, but from her they'd seemed real enough. Sure'n he coulda blamed the drugs, the loss of blood, a hundred other things, but now here was Mal tellin' him even he thought the crazy little moonbrain had these feelin's for him. Jayne was, not unusually, confused.

"I swear to God, Mal, I didn't know," he told the Captain, all full of truthfulness, "Never even... I know she don't hate me or nothin', not no more, though I gave her reason enough."

"Seems she's been gettin' a soft spot for you a while now, though why in the 'verse she should, ain't sure my ownself," he said, maybe jokin' but the merc couldn't know for sure right now, "My point is this, you get up on your feet again and you gonna find yourself in close quarters with my little albatross, and you gotta take a care with her," he said seriously, "She's grown enough and I ain't her Pa no matter what she calls me, I ain't got no place gettin' in the middle of whatever the hell might be goin' on with the two o' you, but you better start on treatin' her better, Jayne, after what she done risked for you."

Jayne heard the words, every single one, though they weren't altogether making sense in his head. Him and River, it was as crazy an idea as he ever heard the whole course of his life, and yet somehow in his drug-addled mind it made a kind sense. Whether it would later when the holes shot in him was mended and he felt a better kind of sober and all, was anybody's guess. One thing was for gorram sure, Mal had a point about him bein' nicer to the girl, grateful for what she did to save him.

"Gonna tell her good and all I 'preciate what she done for me," he swore solemnly, as Mal nodded once and turned to go with muttered words about Jayne needin' more rest right now.

Hidden away in the corner of the stairs beyond the infirmary door, River watched her Captain Daddy stride away. Her heart and mind reached out beyond the wall and she was met with a warmth meant just for her, radiating from the wounded body of her own fallen soldier.

All would be right with the world very soon, she knew it for sure, and for the first time in a long time River Tam found a genuine smile on her lips that was unlikely to move for a good long while.

The End


End file.
